Dog People

I am not a dog person. After years of trying, I am coming to grips with that reality. I have always really, really wanted to be a dog person. But alas my mother would not let us have one growing up. She is not a dog person. Yes, I blame her. Perhaps her mother was not a dog person either. Perhaps this problem goes back generations. Who knows? Who cares? The end result is the same: I am not a dog person.

The reason I tell you this is that we recently had dog people come visit. They are very nice people. And they love their dog. Good for them. Someone has to (love dogs). Their dog however does not love children. Which is fine. Not everyone loves kids. I really only love my kids, and my friends' kids. I guess I'm not really a kid person either. Anywho, in the course of the dog trying to eat my kids, these dog people told me a few interesting things that I would like to... ahem, correct.

If I were to give dog owners (sans children) and potential dog owners one piece of advice it would be this: dogs are not practice children.  People are always getting dogs to test the child waters. But if the only reason you are getting a pet is to see if you are going to be a good parent, chances are you're not... and you probably won't be a good dog owner either. Yes there are some similarities in care... it's not okay to leave your dog or your child in a hot car, abandoning either one of them in a wheat field should be avoided at all costs, remembering to feed and water them is always a good thing. However there are many more dissimilarities. Examples include:

• You don't get to train your six week old (child) to poop outside and you don't get to leave your 6 month old (again, child) at home for (x) hours with a bowl of water and some piddle pads.
• On the same note, asking a neighbor to let your child out during the day and feed them while you are in the Bahamas will get you in a LOT of trouble.
• If your child bites another child, they get disciplined. If your dog bites a child, well they get you know'd.
• Dogs, by law, are not allowed in restaurants or grocery stores (in most states). Children sadly are.
• Dogs carry a backpack with their own water and food on hikes. Children get carried IN backpacks along with the water and food.
• You don't get to talk to your children the same way you talk to a dog. "Sit", "Stay", "off", "do your businesss", never work on kids. Kids ask "why?"
• While spaying or neutering your dog is the responsible thing to do, that's really frowned on with children.
• When your kids grow up and have babies you don't get to pick who they "mate" with or give away the extras. Selling them is kind of taboo too.
• Making your kids eat on the floor in the kitchen is a good idea and will save the carpet, just don't do it when guests are over.

I'm sure there are more I'm not thinking of. I thought I'd stop while I was still (somewhat) ahead.

P.S. I still really, really want my children to be dog people :)