Oh don't groan yet. I plan on something very witty and insightful (opposite of usual right?). I love being a mom. And I've gotten to the point where I am not ashamed to admit it. I am quite content telling people that I am just a mom. There are many responses to this answer and a few I find somewhat amusing are:
There is the "good for you" response. People usually say this when they secretly think I should be ashamed of my "just mom" status. It's the same response as if someone were to say "I'm gay" or "I'm getting a sex change" or "I'm giving away my dog"... Good for you.
Then there's the "Do you plan on working someday?" question. This one has less hidden meaning and more outright scorn. My inner response is "nope, I'm milking this for all it's worth. I'm hoping the hubby doesn't catch on until his deathbed." My outer response is usually "mm, I don't know."
Then there is my favorite: "don't say JUST, you're not JUST a mom". Thanks for reminder. Maybe I should walk around saying, "you're not JUST the president", "you're not JUST a doctor", "you're not JUST a CEO", "you're not JUST a barista at Starbucks". See how that kinda demeans the whole profession?
The common thread of all these responses? The person on the other end of the conversation is the one with the problem of me being just a mom. Not "just the mom". Yes I have hobbies, interests, concerns outside of motherhood. I am a wife, a friend, a sporadic and crappy blogger... but at the end of the day my main job is being a mom.
All this is to say that I am happy being just a mom. I am not offended that people think I am just a mom, I am offended that people think I need to be more than just a mom. I get to spend my days with the two sweetest, cutest, funniest people in the whole world. I get to watch them grow and mature. I get to teach them the things that are important to our family and our values. I get to see their first steps, first words, first songs. I don't worry (as much) that they are being fed, and kept safe, and happy. I get to see it all first hand. I like my job. How many presidents can say that?
(I am in no way disparaging working mom's, just happy I'm not one)
After note*** My friend Kate just posted that another response is jealousy. And I would just like to say that I get it. I get how blessed I am. I get that not everyone has the ability to stay home with their kids. I am very grateful. I don't take it for granted (much).
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2 comments:
You are so funny! Glad I am reading your blog again! You forgot one type of reaction to You're just a mom. Mine. Jealous!! I am loving my second maternity leave so much! I wish I could do this forever. Watch them grow up, be there every day, etc. It's hard to be at work/on the bus to work for 10 hours a day and only quickly feed them dinner and then toss them in bed. Boo. Why aren't there nice 3 day a week, 6 hour a day jobs? Such a weird world. All or nothing. Mom or weekend mom. Which is better? Ugh. I'm excited to read your blog more. Hope you are well. Take care! You look fabulous and Aravis is so beautiful!!! Let us know when you are in Seattle again and maybe we can swing breakfast!
Kate
(currently just a mom on maternity leave)
I honestly needed to read this. I too, am JUST a mom. You know what? My 19 year old self would have hated me right now. When I went to school, I remember asking what certain people's majors were, and they'd say, "not sure...I just kinda want to get an education and then have a family"...granted, I went to a church school, but I can still remember my reactions to that statement. Something along the lines of, "Oh, well that sounds...nice". While mentally screaming, "LOSER!!!!"
Almost 14 years later, unfortunately WITHOUT the education I just knew I'd have, I'm that girl. The one that just stays home. With kids. Now, the unfinished education part, I won't say I don't regret that. I do. But, as for staying at home with my kiddos, I love it, as well. I worked up until I had Cole, and Riley was almost three. There were days when I would actually have to tear her off of me, so I could get out of the house to go to a job I HATED. I'm not bashing on working mothers, either. I'm just saying, that's got to be the hardest thing to do. We all have to do what works. And that's the way it goes. But I remember there being a lot of heartbreak on both ends in my personal situation.
Anyway, I love being able to stay at home. I honestly do. Oh, I'll complain, cause that's just part of my daily ritual, and thought process. However, when it comes to nuts and bolts of this lifestyle? I make no apologies, either. I'm glad you're so happy. Those little people change you in ways that you SWORE would never happen. And then you see it for yourself, and you embrace it, because it's what you love. They're what you love. Okay, that comment was a post in itself, but I had to give you my two cents. As usual. ;)
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