I Still Haven't Died! (alternately titled Tor will be so proud of me)

I was just looking at the date and title of my last post and suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of sadness. Time goes by SO quickly. It was 15 months ago that I posted last! A whole year of my life has gone by uncharted by blogginess. It's almost like it didn't even happen.Yet so much has happened. We got a dog, we got a baby, Tor got a "real" job (to begin shortly), we got rid of the dog, we kept the baby. My little boy is growing up (much to my consternation), and yet as any mother of an almost three year old will tell you, regressing at the same time. It's been an interesting time. I have lots of excuses for not writing: nothing to say, laziness, sleep deprivation, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of superiority... you name it. But consider this my spanish/native american/caucasian new year and this is my resolution: I will be a faithful blogger. Even if it's only to myself.

First things first. We got a dog. BIG mistake. I thought that it would teach Lars to love animals. I thought it would teach me to love animals. I had grandiose plans of puppies and little boys (make that puppy and little boy) romping in fields of daisies while I sat on a blanket reading a romance novel and only growing heavy in my belly from my second child. Things went awry. ALL things. The dog was fine, only problem was it acted like a dog. A really energetic dog. Long story short, there were no fields of daisies, and Lars does love animals (but he thinks they're called damn dogs... joking people), I didn't read a single romance novel my whole pregnancy, and let's just say that these here hispanic genes make sure everything grows heavy during pregnancy. So Gus got a new home with a wonderful family that loves him and doesn't cuss at him (as much) and my family got back a mom/wife who doesn't cuss (as much) and actually smiles once in a while. End of that story.

So cute it makes you wonder what I was thinking to give this up?

Story number 2: Baby Aravis. When we found out my darling daughter was going to be a girl I was disappointed for a millisecond. I again had visions of romping, but it was with two boys who would grow up to be best friends. After that millisecond was over I was delighted... and scared. Girls are so much scarier than boys. As a girl I know this. I know what I put my parents through. I know what I put my husband through. Girls are dramatic, and hysterical, and moody. We don't act rationally. We think with our hearts. You may say "but I know girls that aren't like that". Me too. But this girl will have MY genes. She's doomed to be all those things. Even if her dad's portion evens her out. She'll still be half of ME, which every one will tell you is quite enough.

So I was scared. WE were scared. Tor knows me pretty well by now too. He had visions of what might be the next 20 + years of his life. Plus girls never leave. Boys grow up and get married and make familes of their own (heartbreaking in its own right). Girls grow up and get married and expect their mother to never leave them. We're saddled with this Chiquita for a while.

After a little preterm labor scare she decided to be late. If the fact that she's my daughter hadn't been proven (by being in my uterus) that definitely sealed the deal. Stubborn. My mother wanted her to be born on my birthday (cruel for a number of reasons, the least of which was that would have been 9 days past my due date), but I was determined to thwart her (my mother) even if I had to glue certain, um, areas, together (my legs people!).  Arie was born right in between; Four days after her due date, and four days before my birthday. Her own little person. She's awesome. Except for not sleeping. That part sucks (but that's it's very own post).

My beautiful daughter just seconds old.

Part 3: Tor's job. Tor is the smartest person I know. Which is saying a lot. Because before I met him I was pretty sure that I was the smartest person I know. But, he's truly brilliant. And not the "makes himself look smart at others' expense" kind, but the humble kind of brilliant. He's an anesthesia resident. Which in itself is humbling. Being a resident is humbling. Working for less than minimum wage for four years while your student loans multiply exponentially from the interest is humbling. Being an anesthesia resident is doubly humbling because people don't even think anesthesiologists are real doctors. Some doctors don't even think they are real doctors. But let me just say this: someone keeps you alive while the surgeon is cutting into your body. Who do you think that is? That surgeon is relying on another really good doctor to keep you ALIVE while he fixes whatever is wrong with you... doesn't really matter what that something is if you die while he's fixing it now does it? Off that wagon and on to the next one.

The interview process to become a non-resident (attending in the university setting, plain old doctor in the private sector) is grueling. Paperwork and cold calling hospitals and groups to find out if they're interested. Asking other doctors to pull strings for you, asking other doctors to write recommendation letters for you, pestering those busy doctors when they don't do it soon enough. It's tough. Tor got through it all and he/we got an awesome job in Walla Walla, Wa. It really is awesome too. But some people just aren't so sure. "So did you pick Walla Walla, or couldn't you get a job anywhere else?" Typing this out makes me just think duh. But some people are so dumb, duh needs to whack them in the head. I think Tor's automatic response should be: "I didn't know you were pregnant" and then stare at their belly, whether they're a man or a woman. Because really, it's just as rude. But maybe I'm sensitive. I mean, he's not shoving his brilliance down people's throats so how are they to know?

This post is getting long, so I think I will save Part 4: "why we haven't given Aravis away" for another day. And I will be posting again soon. It's my spandianasian new year's resolution. I have to.

What is more brilliant that that?