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So... It's been a hard week. First I cut myself slicing tomatoes (Tor sharpened the knives so it's his fault) and then I broke my Toe. Which is also Tor's fault. Here's how:
I was going pee and I heard the phone ring. I was so excited to talk to someone other than Lars who only says jibber-jabber, points, and sometimes whines that I jumped up off the toilet (I was done) and ran with my pants around my ankles to the next room. Well, I tripped over my pants and when I went to correct myself I accidentally kicked the door, wedging the jam in between my pinkie toe and the toe next to it. My pinkie went right. The rest of my foot stayed left. I answered the phone and Tor simply said Hi. Like he had no idea what just happened. Like he had no idea how much trouble I went thru just to answer the phone.
I thought I had just jammed my toe, so while cussing I looked at it and said, "Oh man Tor-- I just broke my toe."
"Nuh-uh". Pause. "Are you serious?"
"Well... It's pointed the wrong direction. I think so. Crap, do I have to go to the hospital? It's just a toe?"
"Yeah, I think you should, I'll ask my attending and you ask Julia. Call me back".
After four doctors and a PA told me to go to the ER I reluctantly did. I knew they were just going to tape it to the other one, but you should always listen to a medical professional, and really listen to five. I hobbled to the car (parked 1/2 mile away because I'm too cheap to pay for parking and way too cheap to pay for a cab) and drove myself to the ER with Lars because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone, where I valeted said car and checked myself in. They took xrays, lidocained my toe, pulled it out and taped it to my other toe. Easy-peasy afternoon. My discharge instructions were to wear hard soled shoes and not exercise, and if it turns blue and gets cold to come back in.
I am such a sucker.
Lessons learned:
1. Do not run for phone when peeing. No one is that important.
2. ALWAYS shave your legs.
3. If you know in your heart that "they" are just going to tape your toe, listen to your heart and stay at home.
4. This is the most important: ALWAYS refuse lidocaine. That stuff burns like Hell. It was worse than child birth. Just have then yank it like in the old west. Worse case scenario you wake up later having passed out from the pain.
Other notes:
Tor later told me he knew that's all they were going to do, but he didn't want to be the one responsible if my toe ended up looking weird for life. Just like a Dr. to think of himself and HIS bottom line even with his own wife. I'm totally suing!
The triage nurse had no sense of humor or any personality what-so-ever. If you don't watch it honey, "they're" gonna replace you with a cost saving machine.
My phone dictionary only has brokey in it and not broken. Apparently it was programmed... not here. (Maybe someone from the deep south reads my blog, I don't want to offend)
I am just another example of the whole you can bring a horse to water but can't make it drink phenom. Even if we somehow manage to insure all of the U.S. (which I'm not opposed to, all you "crazy" liberals out there who think just because I'm skeptical of the current ideas in congress I must be a hard-hearted neo-religious zealot) how are we going to make sure that they/we don't all continue to utilize the highest costing path (the ER) for simple little toe problems???? If I had a PCP and a neighborhood clinic I would have totally called them and asked their advice. But I don't and I probably won't. I'm not proud, just an example.
The end. Rant over.
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