Directional Water Faucets

I have always envied the male "water faucet" for one simple reason: public restrooms. No woman wants to use one, no man is afraid of one. That is because our equipment only goes one direction while the male species can use theirs in any sort of fun manner, including snow art. I USED to be envious... until my small son (who doesn't know how to control his yet) started peeing in his own face. I would blame my lack of knowledge in this area, except it has happened when Tor is changing him too. Here's the scenario: Lars has a dirty diaper and like all responsible parents we try to change the diaper, we TRY... As we are lifting his little bottom to clean all surface areas, we hear noises from up above. We put down the legs and Lars is sputtering and crying a little and there is wetness everywhere. One time-- a fluke, three times-- and maybe we need to look into some sort of cover up. The peepee teepee has been recommended. Anyone with a similar equipment failure have suggestions? 'Cause like I said, mine only goes in the one direction.

Lars loves to suck his dad's finger. He actually grabs it and directs it towards his mouth.

Tor and fellow male baby handlers.

Grandma Ann and Lars

Papa Lasse with grandchildren

Grandma D with Lars

Grandpa T!

Diarrhea at the Opera

Tor and I took Lars to the park for some culture. Apparently Lars does not like culture. We were sitting there enjoying the live music and eating some tasty gyros when little Lars started fussing. I picked him up to inconspicuously feed him under my "hooter hider" when I noticed a little brown on his leg. I asked Tor where it came from-- to which I got an you're an idiot look. Little did I know that the entire back half of Lars was brown. Tor scooped him up along with diaper bag and blanket (he has a little super hero in him) and took him away to get cleaned up. I looked down and noticed the front of my shirt had two wet spots where my ginormous boobs usually are. So, I followed my menfolk out of the park to a bench. By the time I got there Tor was sweating profusely and Lars was contentedly enjoying the balmy summer air. We proceeded to enjoy the music while looking at the beautiful roses in complete privacy.

We did notice that Lars had poop on his back and neck a little later. We have no idea how it got THERE.

Lars in the big kids bed.

Drunk on milk

Our check up with my best friend Julia. Lars was back to birth weight!

Welcome Lars!

Lars Thomas Sandven entered the world at 4:40 am on August 4th. He is probably the cutest baby ever born, I have to admit. I was a little worried because I am pretty critical of babies and kids, and so it would be fitting for me to have an ugly kid. Tor and I worried he would be late and our families would miss seeing him so we tried every possible way of him coming out early. I bought tea and we walked and yes... other things. In the end all it took was some berry pickin' and a hot tub.

Here's how that story goes. On the 3rd of August Tor and I decided to go to Sauvie Island in Portland to pick berries. It was super hot and afterward I didn't feel very good. We headed home and decided to get in the hot tub for a few minutes while our homemade berry ice cream was brewing. We were sitting in said hot tub when all of a sudden I felt a small gush. I wondered to myself "self, did I just pee, no I think not". I do sometimes pee in hot tubs and pools, as every honest person will admit, just like we ALL pick our nose and fart, but, I digress. So I leaned over and whispered to Tor "How do you know if your water breaks in the hot tub?" He whispered back "I just read that question, it will keep leaking...". "Well" I said, "I think it just broke." Then we hurriedly got out of the hot tub. To understand better, I should explain that it is a community hot tub and there are never any people in it... ever. But tonight there were three other people. One girl said as I stood up, "Oh, you were hiding a little surprise under there weren't you!" I just smiled and thought to myself-- more than you want to know. We waddled down to our apartment with a towel between my legs and I hopped in the shower to make sure it wasn't me just peeing uncontrollably. Come to find out my water did break. Seven hours later little Lars entered the world and the chlorine sufficiently cleaned the hot tub. No, I did not tell any one who lives in this building what happened, nor do I plan on it. Luckily we aren't friends with anyone who lives here, so we don't have to explain why WE aren't getting in the hot tub for a while :)

Footnote: We ate the ice cream two days later when we came home from the hospital.

Hands stained with evidence of our berry thievery

Hiding the bump with berries

Baby Lars just seconds old

Our happy family

Lars could hold his head up almost immediately

He has webbed toes just like dad!

Going home from the hospital

Tor and Lars asleep

Lars is four days old!

Lars' first bath